Monday, May 19, 2008

I`m still alive under my rock...

still trying to figure out the direction I want to take...I not sure if I should continue with this blog or start a whole new one. Something doesn`t fit...I`ve grown as an artist or to put it more aptly I`ve rediscovered my inner artist that I abandoned in my late teen years for a life of partying...I`m happy to report that I am painting again, and having stumbled upon artists like Suzi Blu, Tascha, Paulette Install and Wyanne have been really jazzed about mixed media...I`ve found a form of art that really speaks to me and flows naturally for me. I`ve started an Art journal that just brings me infinate joy and with all this creativity I`m just so much more happier as a person. To think that my road back to art all started back in 2004 with a trip across the street for some Fashion magazines for a project upon which a copy of CK magazine caught my eye. From there a full blown obsession with scrapbooking/papercrafts emerged which opened me up to a whole new community on the web, which opened me up to blogs and from there I feel like I`ve stumbled down the rabbit hole and came out into a magical world where a whole world of like minded souls are creating beautiful things and supporting one another through it. Not having many friends or family members that ``get`` me has meant for a degree of lonliness throughout my life and yet It has enabled me to feel very comfortable in my skin. To some degree I have always gotten along better with men than with women, not sure still as to why that is...I just never seem to fit in with any of the other girls. LOL Through these online communities however, I have found some great woman connections both virtual and IRL and made some friendships....but most of all I have found some very inspiring women that prove to me that there are people going through some very similar things as I am and no I am not a weird Loner!
As much as I have wanted to Blog I have been majoring procrastinating on it...using it`s not cool enough, I don`t know how to make this or do that, the learning curve, etc as my main reading The Artists Path by Julie Cameron I have discovered that this really is just Fear. Which leads me to what pray tell am I afraid of? the answer , not living up to my high expectations of what I think it should look like, not being sure of what my voice is or what I want to convey, and yes something as simple as do I even like the name?
All this adds up to me making a serious muddle of things and making it all bigger than it needs to be.
I simply want a place to share my Art be it scrapbooking or mixed media, my thoughts and my path in life. Sounds simple right.?! and yet I am struggling with this.